forgiveness

recently, i started to learn to be more open heart in sharing. sharing my real feeling deep inside my heart not my mind. mind always lie but rational. heart always honest but irrational. lie vs honest. it's so hard to weigh when comes for decision. honestly, i looked so rational in front of my family and friends but behind them i always do irrational things. this is the main reason why i still haven't settle down since 3 years ago. many bad incidents  happened over the past 3 years after our separation. hmmm.. i should said those were actually good signs for me. i realize i have control issues. i like to control everything. easily get depressed when the thing not going on my way. this could be the main reason why i escaped from my marriage years ago. thank you for all the experiences over the years, else i won't be able to write up this post. a real me post.
both of us are changed since 8 years ago when we met up and started to date. after so many good and bad changes occured, we still able to accept each other. this is true love. you will realize true love when your partner has become another person who seems so closed but yet strange to you and you still love him or her for who he or her is. congratulation! congratulation to both us!
whatever we did on the past, hurting each other, scolding each other, acting cool to each other. we holding those matters seriuosly and not willing to let go on our past. today, i can tell you we already let go. forgiveness do happen among us. i am growing! 
maybe one day we will recouple again if he tells me:
i knew i have screwed it up, but i will love you forever!!!