forgiveness

recently, i started to learn to be more open heart in sharing. sharing my real feeling deep inside my heart not my mind. mind always lie but rational. heart always honest but irrational. lie vs honest. it's so hard to weigh when comes for decision. honestly, i looked so rational in front of my family and friends but behind them i always do irrational things. this is the main reason why i still haven't settle down since 3 years ago. many bad incidents  happened over the past 3 years after our separation. hmmm.. i should said those were actually good signs for me. i realize i have control issues. i like to control everything. easily get depressed when the thing not going on my way. this could be the main reason why i escaped from my marriage years ago. thank you for all the experiences over the years, else i won't be able to write up this post. a real me post.
both of us are changed since 8 years ago when we met up and started to date. after so many good and bad changes occured, we still able to accept each other. this is true love. you will realize true love when your partner has become another person who seems so closed but yet strange to you and you still love him or her for who he or her is. congratulation! congratulation to both us!
whatever we did on the past, hurting each other, scolding each other, acting cool to each other. we holding those matters seriuosly and not willing to let go on our past. today, i can tell you we already let go. forgiveness do happen among us. i am growing! 
maybe one day we will recouple again if he tells me:
i knew i have screwed it up, but i will love you forever!!!

and again!

Enough is enough. Enough is really meant enough. But, why I never learnt from it? I always told myself not to get distracted, not to easily fall into the trap again. Whatever happen, just stand still with my own principle. But, alas, i always failed =_______________= (Maybe. I don't even know what is my principle?)
A girl is willing to travel for more than 20km for ONE WAY every single night just to see a guy who he himself not really treats her well. Back and forth 40km. Just to spend 2 to 3 hours to meet a guy? A Mr Not Nice Guy, wtf. Go home late at night or i should say early in the morning 1am to 2am or 3am? I just can say she is so STUPID! Opsss.. she is very GREAT!
The guy left her alone on the roadside with her own car and drives his car to look for his beloved wife. The girl unwilling to give up coz the guy just dumped her alone. She secretly followed his car to his destination. The guy only awared when he almost reach his beloved wife's house. Why the guy so foolish? Not even aware when someone is followed while cruising along the road? It's funny for me! Long story short, the girl didn't managed to know where his beloved wife's stay. It's LUCKY! Else, the innocent wife might in "danger". Hahaha!
Few morale of the story:-
1. The guy is lucky because he found a girl who loves him more than he does.
2. The girl is so great in giving out her love but unfortunately to a wrong man in her life.
I concluded, both of them don't even know what is LOVE about! The girl is a possesive person. The guy is not insisted enough. Obviously, the guy really really loves his wife but he has screwed it up!

The biggest secret for my post is I AM THE BELOVED WIFE, wtf, kns!
HAHAHAHAHAHA, yeah, serioulsy, just for sharing, for fun to fuel your day up! :D

I am moving...

dunno wat title shud b given

trying to post with my berry. a berry that gary bought for me. sometimes he really touched me. watched sex n the city vi just now. wow, it's awesome! it's good that if we really find true friends during our breathe time. it's even better if we date for true love forever, or perhaps once. i'm in my middle of 20's now. a decade for me to learn, get hurt, fall down, stand up, forgive, act cute (hey, i'm a real cute gal), create story, dates, work, eat, play! n wateva!

Time vs Discipline = MONEY

Time flies fast.. super fast...

Now has comes to an end of July 2010...

Over the seven months, i have lost my anticipation for my dreams, i living in apprehension for many reasons

many nonsense reasons.. many.. many...

it's not easy to build momentum and discipline for our dreams, i have given up half way.. not even reach quarter of my journey..

i hate to see a NATO [no action talk only] me, real hate!!!

everything happened is because of I,me,myself ALLOWED it to be happened on me! funny.. is a sad funny.

especially over the past two months, i have had a hellish life, my frame of mind is just like.. suddenly rolling down the slope, suddenly striking to the sky. it is so extreme till breathless.

now has comes to the end. i decided to let it END! without YOUR consent, well, you've no right to approve for me though.

this is my life! i must be responsible for myself. NOT you.

after my strong affirmation for myself, i started to see sunshine reflects on my chubby face and body, i can feel the heat, the positive energy, the strong power that keep pulling me out from the dark moon, no lights.

i appeal to myself to live my SECOND CHANCE OF LIFE with fullest!

EVIL YOU, stay away from ME!!!

I am ALIVE ('',)

原来我还是很坚强。。。

一直被感情问题纠缠给我，终于下定决心将它彻底给解决去。[我知道我讲佐千百次？！]
一直以为是我当初给霸道同埋任性将他伤害了。
一直以为里一切给一切是我自己将事情给搞砸了。
一直以为总有好多一直以为。。。真是白痴到！！！
我都不明是么耶令到我撑到今日还抱着个一丝丝给期望咯。
他话：女人应该学蠢点，男人先喜欢。
我静静给没回答。心理想，难道明知道你给所作所为是会伤害到自己给，都要忍声吞气吗？
我是一个好理智给新时代女性咯！
我真是没办法做到“委屈求全”，对吾住！

由5 月尾开始，我一直都被他“所谓给前度女友”纠缠不放。
虽然同他一起甘多年，
虽然已经被他背叛过千百次，
虽然我一次又一次甘没条件甘原谅他，
虽然他一次又一次甘做被我剃他有给重视我，
虽然他不曾大大声甘恼我，
虽然他好识得哄我，
虽然他对我是百分之二百给大方，非常舍得花钱是我身上，亦都没拿过我便宜，
虽然他时不时都会关心我，
虽然还有好多个虽然。。。
但是，
我真地真地好累，好累，好累。。。

我相信他是真的爱我，我能感受到，
我相信所有给背叛都是他一时贪玩。
我知道我已经原谅晒他所做错给一切。

是一本书上，忘记佐作者给名，在此讲声：sorry! 她讲：
如果当对方变佐同当初你所认识给吾一样而你一样甘喜欢对方给话，恭喜你！你已经揾到你给真爱！

而我到今日为止，依然总甘喜欢他，是好事定是坏事？